I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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