I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Houston, we have a squirter
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize