weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
