You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
