I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
