Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
