please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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