I wish my penis had an off switch
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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