I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
