i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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