if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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