Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
