A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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