I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
