I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you would pick up someone in the library
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
