okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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