and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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