I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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