i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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