Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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