We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
