I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
