Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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