if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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