the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
