like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
