I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
