New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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