i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He passed out mid-signature
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
