ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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