I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
