I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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