I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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