I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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