You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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