That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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