Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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