well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
