I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
