the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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