Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i out mim tonsoeep
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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