that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
