Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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