can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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