it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
