Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
