I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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