Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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