Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
