Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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