this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
